Blackwing Pencil vs. Chat GPT

Not only that, but I have a pencil sharpener next to me and a slightly frayed eraser perched at the top of the long, sleek, white Blackwing writing utensil that I am gingerly balancing between three fingertips like a paintbrush. It feels awkward. I don't write longhand much anymore, just the odd grocery list, birthday card, or longstanding pen pal letter I've kept up for well over three decades. And usually with a pen, never a pencil. Every few lines, I stop to resharpen. I realize that I am a bit maniacal about having crisp cursive letters, and truth be told, I don't have the best handwriting to begin with.

I struggle to get the words out as fast as my brain is giving them to me today. And really, I should have put my phone away. It has been vibrating through my bag, and each micro-movement nudges my brain from the page. And what is that, exactly, you might be wondering at this point? What is this flow of words getting to, if anything at all?

My profession is actually in media and communications, so the advent of all three technologies has revolutionized how I work: from the generation of ideas, research, documentation, and writing, to the final editing before something is sent off to be published. It has all changed dramatically.  

Don't get me wrong: this is not an anti-technology rant. I am both amazed and deeply curious about the way AI, in particular, has now changed my entire process, not unlike so many others working in the knowledge industries today. I have never been more productive or efficient, and perhaps, in some sense of the word, satisfied by how much impressive and thoughtful work can get done with the help of a very competent virtual assistant. 

But I have come to notice something has changed inside of me. No longer do I enjoy the writing process as I once did. No longer am I stressing over the dreaded white page, because I know in mere seconds it could be filled by whatever AI tool output I request. But that lack of dread has also meant losing something I hadn’t quite realized I valued: the effort of finding my own way through an idea, of struggling with the words until they finally come together.

I use each one of these to live a life that is full and rich and in pace with the West Coast island life that I have come to adore. But I am becoming more selective with when, how, and for what I embrace the various technology tools in my life.

The word "intentional," as much as I feel it's overused and has become a cliché in itself, is also at its root about being aware of the aim or plan of something. And in this case, that means being more aware of the technologies we have so readily at our fingertips. I use all of them today—including the historic Blackwing pencil, arguably an early form of technology—with a more concerted appreciation and understanding of how I'll feel at the end of it.

It's a bit like a double-scoop chocolate waffle cone for lunch in place of a chicken salad sandwich, I suppose. I like both very much, depending on the time and place, but I also know that having one over the other will keep me feeling healthier in the long run. 

Perhaps that’s what I’ve been missing in my writing, too. Not necessarily the finished piece, but the feeling of finding my way through it.

Forgive me now, as my fingers are cramping up. From the writing or the continual sharpening, I'm not exactly sure, but I do have to answer my phone eventually.